A Gift from the Slow Worms
Whilst out checking a fairly remote spot for its likely reptile habitats I came across this wonderful hat. It seemed to have been there for a long time. It has 'Happy Birthday' written across it and some candles on top and since it is nearly my birthday I took it as a sign to pick it up wear it.
I believe it may have been left there quite deliberately by a reptile community grateful for the time and effort we spend on their behalf. After all (and with apologies to Eddie Izzard) if bees can make honey why shouldn't slow worms make hats?
If I look quite emotional it's at the thought of animals with no hands struggling to make hats.
Labels: silly staff stuff
Reptiles can be so thoughtful these days...
By 
, at
03/11/2007, 00:10
I think you look like a scarecrow
Ruth
By , at
03/11/2007, 20:09
Thank you Ruth, that's the look I strive for and as you can see there are no crows at all in the picture.
By 
ian, at
05/11/2007, 08:35
It had been there for a long time- because these hats take a long time to make.
It's not easy with no hands.
It was for a third birthday party-and as you may have noticed only has two candles.My female( or wife as I believe you call them) is dragging the third one back from Newport as I speak.
She is due back any week now.
How am I going to explain that she has to go back for two more candles ?
You may well feel emotional-she is going to be livid-I just know she'll come out in those blue spots again.
And it's nearly time to hibernate too!
From:-
A rather cross slow worm.
By , at
05/11/2007, 19:26
Dear Mr. Slow,
I'm truly sorry for having inadvertently stolen your lovely hat. I honestly believed it to be a gift from the natural world but I see now that this was egotism bordering on madness and but a short step from expecting multi-coloured feather coats from the kingfishers and a lifetime's supply of shaving brushes (which of course I would pass on to others)from the badgers.
I hope you won't think me too presumptuous however when I suggest that a public footpath on a cliff top does not make for a good workshop. Do you not have access to more secure premises? Are you on good terms with any of the larger burrowing animals for instance? A benevolent rabbit might offer some spare tunnel space or even excavate a bespoke millinery in return for nice hats (the bonnet is the rabbit's preference according to my copy of 'The Beatrix Potter Guide to the Stylings of British Mammals'). I do feel that some better arrangement is needed as it can only be a matter of time before another passes along that path, perhaps a day or two from their birthday, and the whole saga begins again.
My sincere apologies once again and best regards to Mrs. Slow.
Ian
By ian, at
12/11/2007, 08:58
Dear Ian.
Thank you so very much for your kind response to my perhaps too overwrought message.
Please do not chide yourself.We are taught from an early age that the flotsam and jetsam of our small lives will be taken by the Large Ones- never to be returned.
That is why we have such an industrious craft industry. The Kingfishers labour constantly to replenish their supply of Fishing Floats, upon which their very existence depends.
The Rabbits whom you mention have mile upon mile of subterranean Scarf making.This commodity; so crucial for their winter months, disappears at a frightening rate. The Moles labour night and day to maintain a stable supply of Gloves......and we Slow Worms , as you are now aware do our best in the Hat department -a product which appears to be especially attractive to itinerant Large Ones.
I will indeed take your advice and ensure that the premises of Slow Hats Limited is moved off the beaten track.
In turn it may be that you might in future see an unattached handkerchief-or sock-or indeed hat in a different light.
Mrs Slow and I really hope that you enjoy the hat.
For Slow Hats Ltd.
Very Sincerely.
A Slow Worm.
By , at
12/11/2007, 16:30
Hi Ian, I have seen Slow Worms knitting in my back garden and weaving baskets on my allotment. Do you think this indicates a sophisticated craft ecosystem that previously has gone undiscovered ?
concerned, Tim
ps. did you know the Red Squirrel population of Cowes has a particular enthusiasm for macrame ?
By , at
21/11/2007, 23:07
I think Tim maybe onto something, I know a hedgehog who is a master tutor in quilling.
She also does my washing.
intrigued, Hannah
ps. Why aren't Beatrix Potter's books in the natural history section of the library.....
By , at
22/11/2007, 12:45
I'd love to think we really were uncovering evidence of animal enterprise, even evolutionary change, Tim.
But, sadly,it's just not so. There were some Voles in front of me in the queue at Bewise buying just a sock. They'd made a rather pathetic attempt to disguise themselves as a small hairy child, but there was no doubt what was really going on. The UK fauna is after the EU megabucks at large in the Rural Regeneration and Diversification grant schemes - but it's all a scam, they can no more knit a sock than I can. I'm pretty disgusted actually. And as for doing your washing for you Hannah, just watch out is all I can say. You'll no sooner turn your back than the spiny demon will be rolling off attached to your best Kashmir to wave in front of some gullible but loaded Eurocrat.
It's a sick world.
By ian, at
23/11/2007, 10:09